"You need to study, you have to be independent in your life" these are the words, I have always heard since my childhood, the words every middle class mother would have told to her daughter and in my case too.


Being a post-grad from a renowned Indian university, earning a handsome salary, I never thought being 'independent' could be so difficult till I landed U.S. on H4 visa. My husband Rohit, is software guy, working with an Indian IT company whom I met few years before, fell in love, tied knot and were blessed with a beautiful daughter, Tashvi. She was just six months old when we traveled here. Earlier, our stay was for few months only but later it got extended.

Since, I traveled two weeks after my husband alone with my little one, my first one week, I was in jet-lag only. Yes, me and Tashu used to sleep all day and night. After that we started getting accustomed to this new place, new faces, lifestyle, making new friends and exploring this new country. Florida is indeed gorgeous, beaches here are breathtaking and climate is survivable unless you are caught in thunderstorm. Pretty roads, disciplined traffic, strict law and order, pollution free environment, good health care facilities, affordable prestigious brands and many other factors of this country were always there to impress us.

During my high school, I was busy preparing for competitive exams then I was in hostel at graduation time and my post-graduation kept me super-busy so I never had time to learn cooking expect from basics. I got married just after completing my thesis so after marriage too, I cooked the basic dal-roti kinda stuff. Initially, I discovered a 'super-chef' in me, yes a 'super-chef', I actually used to search recipes during my daytime and used to cook them up in evening. It was fun, I enjoyed doing it and I still do it especially learning things I love to eat.

I tried everything i loved from rasmalai to homemade lemon cheesecake, some experiments were good, some were bad too but yes worth the effort. I am glad my husband never complained ;-).

When I got bit tired of being 'super-chef', I started doing few DIY craft projects for my home decor as well. I love doing DIY craft work though I was not good in my craft classes in school. I specially love making canvas and preserving my happy moments into beautiful refreshing creation.


But all days are not the same, some are good and some are terribly terrible. In my childhood days, I never imagined that one-day I had to stay at home like this and sometimes termed as "house-wife" too, by some of my known back in India. There is no telling how much I hated this word and this was one thing I never wanted to be in my life. Com'on, I didn't study so hard just to be called as "house-wife" one day by anyone who doesn't know what struggle I am going through from inside.Yes, a struggle to keep myself in peace and not to miss my own individuality. There were so many nights when I had dreams about ex-job, my colleagues, my co-workers and even if I was still on maternity leave which will soon be over though that day never came.

"Sometimes, some days, I get so hopeless that I can't even pretend to be fine as if things are never going to be fine but later, I have to remind myself that it's a just a bad day"

Although, the decision of coming to U.S. wasn't easy for me and I was bit scared too initially but I chose to come for my family. I never wanted my daughter and Rohit to stay apart as they both need each other.  Today I cherish being at home as i can give her more of my quality time, can watch her growing and for sure don't miss every single little moment of her daily life. With her giggles, innocent smile, sparkling eyes, unconditional love and tricks to get all of my attention for herself only; all my worriers fade away. I can't deny to the fact that there is nothing more contagious than your child laughter and is the most beautiful sound in the world.

Still those words of my mother haunt me sometimes as if they are running into my blood. I always wanted to have my own individuality and may be for me individuality is definition of freedom. I distinctly remember my mother's concerns about my future, the efforts my parents put in for my better future and how I was always a son to them.  So, just not for myself but my loved ones too, I know I have to try and I can't be afraid. Even if I want to inspire my child to dream, I need to pursue mine. I don't know what my destination is gonna be, may be its the road I will follow or a passion I chase but for sure it would be worth the trip. All I know is there is something inside all of us which we need to listen silently and if we let it dim, we will never get our share of peace.